For years my husband and I slept on a waterbed. It was the most awesome thing. We absolutely loved the full wave and we slept so well with the bed literally molding to our form. I remember the night we got in to bed and realized that the covers were wet. We had no idea who spilled the whole pitcher of water on our bed. It was then that we realized our bed had sprung a leak. The repair kit was needed. Where is that thing? How do we use it? It was a lot of work repairing a very small hole on a queen size mattress, but it was necessary if we were going to continue its use.

Family is a wonderful blessing. The relationships, the fun, the memories, the trust, and…the troubles. Relationships in a family often need the repair kit. When the family repair kit is needed we are usually not prepared to use it. We refuse to humble ourselves and do the work needed in order to restore the relationships in need of repair.

The husband/ wife relationship is the most fundamental and important relationship in the family. This relationship completes a family unit. Adding children only expands this already complete unit. As man has an enjoyable vertical relationship with God, the husband should have an enjoyable horizontal relationship with his wife. He should not worship her like God or rule over her like the animals, but have an enjoyable social relationship with the one he has chosen to love. This strong husband/wife relationship will lead to a strong parent/child relationship which will in turn lead to strong sibling relationships.

Many times a woman will put the child relationship first in her life before the husband relationship. Our children vie for first place due to the demands they put on our lives and schedules. Children require so much care and attention. By the time they leave our home we have forgotten what it was like to have a healthy husband/wife relationship. Even though it is natural for the misplacement of the husband/wife relationship it is still unacceptable for our relationships to be out of order.

Let’s look at a dozen items that should be in your repair kit:

  1. Submission – Be submissive to your own husband. In Ephesians 5: 22-24, the Bible speaks of submission as a functional lining up. Someone must be in charge. God designed the man for that role.
  2. Team Player – See yourself on your husband’s team and not as his opponent.
  3. Involvement – Offer ideas, opinions and insights. Then, when your team leader (husband) makes his decision, support it because you are on the team!
  4. Indispensable – Realize that your role as a submissive wife is indispensable. All three parts of the traditional family will suffer if you do not follow your role.
  5. Alignment – Align yourself with the will of your husband.
  6. Anticipation – Anticipate his desires and act in accordance with those desires.
  7. Admiration – Admire your husband. Admiration attracts. Belittling repels.
  8. Effort – Make an effort to remember your husbands’ requests and desires.
  9. Opportunity – Look for opportunities to draw attention to his positive qualities. Compliment him in private. Praise him to your children.
  10. Appreciation – Show appreciation for your husband’s accomplishments in his job. Learn to accurately give his job description.
  11. Consideration – Be considerate of your husbands’ words. Think before responding.
  12. Influence – Exercise your power of influence. As a wife, you have this power. Most of the time people with positions of influence have more power than people with positions of authority. It’s been said that “the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.”

The repair kit is needed. Where is that thing? How do we use it? It is a lot of work repairing a very small hole that has developed in our marriage, but it is necessary if we are going to continue in a right relationship. Are you prepared to use your repair kit?