No parent desires for their child to become an entitled, self-centered individual now or when they grow up. We don’t like to be around people who are this way, so we definitely don’t want to raise another one to join that club! How then do we avoid that?

The question is, who are the most important people in your family? Dr. John Rosemond tells this story:

“I recently asked a married couple who have three kids, none of whom are yet teens, ‘Who are the most important people in your family?’

Like all good moms and dads of this brave new millennium, they answered, ‘Our kids!’

‘Why?’ I then asked. ‘What is it about your kids that gives them that status?’ And like all good moms and dads of this brave new millennium, they couldn’t answer the question other than to fumble with appeals to emotion.

So, I answered the question for them. ‘There is no reasonable thing that gives your children that status.’”

The creation of the family was God’s idea. I think it’s important that we look to His original plan for the family to see if what Dr. Rosemond has shared is indeed true.

Genesis 2:24 recounts the creation of the family and says, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” From this moment, God ordained that one man and one woman would come together in marriage and create a family. The family was complete and set. God did not say it was lacking anything.

With that said, children have their proper place in the home. Psalm 127:3-4 says, “Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.” These verses describe children as a blessing and also as arrows in the hands of their parents. Notice the difference presented in these verses. The children are the arrows, the parents are the archers. As parents, it is our job to make sure we set our children up for success by not allowing them to be the ones in charge of the home. Their proper place is not to be the most important individuals that set the order of priorities for the family. Children are not to dictate when, where, how, or what happens in the family. They are not the ones that should set the schedule for each day of the week. Mom and dad should not be seeking to serve their children to the point that the children receive each thing they desire. The family doesn’t exist for the children.

I’m not undermining the role that children play in our homes, nor am I suggesting that they be neglected. I’m simply reiterating what the Bible teaches us about the roles of a biblical family. Parents teach. Children listen. God will be honored, and you will raise a young adult that is not an entitled, self-centered individual, rather an adult that has been raised in a way that sets them up for spiritual success.